Wednesday, August 4, 2010

My Home is Heaven, But...

For others, life of mine is fantastic. Born in so called ‘upper caste’, people around me to do any help and a well furnished house, what else is there to make me unhappy? But cage is always a cage, whether it is made of gold or iron.

When you are born as a female in a Brahmin family, that name itself pulls you away from the world. Especially, when your family is very orthodox, you can’t expect to fly as a free bird. It may not be the same; but exceptions are only rare. You can’t even imagine how much girls will struggle in such families.

I belong to a family that is very conventional. I can go to Coimbatore or Calicut alone; still I’m not supposed to go to a shop nearby. I don’t have friends here as no one ‘dares’ to talk to a Brahmin girl. Why the hell people show all these attitudes in this 21st century! So in short I even don’t know who my neighbors are… The only people I know are my family, my uncles and their families who stay in the same compound.

There are some workers in our farms who smile at me. I can smile back, but I’m scared to talk to them because I’m not used to these kinds of talks from the day I was born. Even if I try, my relatives will scold me. My parents love a peaceful life which makes them not to go against my relatives. They requested me to go in the same manner. My parents had suffered a lot and so I thought to go according to their wish.

I love playing cricket. I’m an admirer of Shahid Afridi and Virender Sehwag, and like to smash sixes. I used to play with my brothers during my school vacation. As I grew up, I could here comments from all around asking me to stop playing with guys. Now I’m permitted to play only badminton, that too after 5pm. My dad had gone to attend a function. As a girl, I can’t go, until it is a marriage of my cousin or some close relatives. A lady can attend any programs after her marriage, not as a maiden.

It’s not only me, but many of my cousins facing the same problem. They are not even aware of this imprisonment. I’d settled here only a few years before. Before that, I was in a place where labels of my caste had not disturbed me. All the neighbors mingled with us freely. I was always welcomed everywhere. I could go anywhere alone. People never stared at me. The transplantation had changed my life style very badly. Now my world is not beyond the four walls of this house and the only neighbors I know are my relatives. Every other creature is a stranger for me.

When I’m too desperate sitting idle here, I run away to my cousins’ houses. Luckily I got many cousins in different parts of Kerala where I can breath, talk and move freely. However I’m a different girl outside my village. I used to roam around in nights wearing all crazy costumes. Laughing loudly, passing comments at guys, dancing in the rain, eating ice creams in winter, hauling for no reason… I just enjoy my break with all possible stuffs.

Still when I’m back at home, I’ll be in prison again. Whose fault, I don’t know… even if my family rules change; will the society accept us as normal human beings??? Will there be a day, when I can walk freely through the streets of my village!!!


  1. A world without walls n fence!! A world sans barriers!!

  2. The girls from Namboodiri Families have some restrictions just like other castes or religions have. Because we are in kerlala, in malappuram district.
    But I think....hhmmm....Dont be scared to anyone.