Two Thoughts With Me Inside

Thanks to Electricity Board and Telecom Service, I live here in darkness and complete isolation. The virtual world used to give me an existence that I always wished to live in! At home, when my parents go to office in the morning and my brother goes to college I remain all alone. I cannot say my home is completely empty since there is a maid who is busy with her works and gossiping. She joined my grandma’s house at the age of 13 and at present she is almost a part of our family. Because of the freedom given, she set rules in my house which others follow without hesitation.

She keeps asking about each and every minute objects at home. When I try to take something from the store room, she comes rushing to enquire what I am doing there! Earlier in my childhood days I was scared to go to our kitchen. She will be there around to check my movements. Although later I recognized her shouting was for my safety, kitchen became a matter of fear for me. I could get over this fright only recently. Now I am comfortable to work in kitchen as I know I can reply back to her in the same tone. Yet she is the ruler at my home even now.

Yet I know she is the only creature with whom I can talk in the day time. Being a member of orthodox Brahmin family, so many restrictions bind me. Even if I break that and talk to the neighbors, they withdraw themselves from interacting with me as it is what they were forced to practice for centuries. I’ve always dreamed of a life without religion or gender difference. Every thought of mine ends up in gender difference these days. My brothers are going for a tour this weekend without me for a simple reason that I am a female. Except in the metros, India is still a country where you can go for a picnic with same genders unless it is a family trip. And mostly girls do not go for excursions because every parent fears the so called security of females.

Even while I know everything cannot be changed in one day, scribbling my thoughts give me a relief. Writing is my refreshment; in fact that is the only thing for me to unwind these days! Now I am relieved and so let me get back to my work of writing travel articles. Though it is a part of my earning, I like it because at least through words I can travel to some of the most beautiful places on earth without a female label.