Saturday, April 7, 2012

Untouchable

There is a get together going on in her house. She is not allowed to get out of her room as she is an ‘untouchable’. On those three days every month, she lives like a prisoner. She cannot touch clothes, utensils or food in her house. Even to get a few drops of drinking water, she has to beg and wait for the mercy of others.

For outsiders, she belongs to a well-fed family with a few acres of agricultural land. Her family is highly educated and has a good status in the society. However, they still hold the orthodox Brahmin culture. She tried many times to question about the untouchable days. The only answer she gets is ‘some customs has to be followed’…

She has to hide herself from the sight of those who are going to temple. Others think it is bad to see her before their temple darshan and so they will start cursing her when they spot her. Again some rooms like kitchen and pooja room are forbidden places for her during those days.

Only on the fourth day, she becomes ‘pure’ after taking a dip in the pond. Until then, she has to remain inside her room. She says the mental torture is worse than the physical suffering. Outside her room, the world celebrates 21st century life…!

It is not the story of a single female. There are many ladies who are secluded like this inside the houses of namboodiris. The female communities of Kerala Brahmins are not allowed to live freely during their days of menstruation. Though most of the families have come out of this idiotic custom, a few still practice this!

Earlier, the seclusion was a part of giving rest from household duties to females. In those three days, she needs rest mentally and physically. But now the scene has changed, every girl has her own world. Everyone is highly educated and they can make their own time to work and relax.

Being a namboodiri girl, I always feel it is time for a second revolution in the community. Even if the condition of Kerala Brahmin ladies has changed a lot (Thanks to VT Bhattathiripad and others for the first revolution), there is still a little more to change.

A man finds it hard to manage a fever or cold that comes once in a while. These people can’t even imagine how much a lady bears each month. Still she manage to smile and love men without any hesitation.

Again, I don’t think it is God who had laid all these rules that let females suffer! If Almighty is so cruel, then I would say I don’t want to worship a stone like that!!!

This post has been written for the Time to change Contest hosted by IndiBlogger . Thanks to Stayfree,the best companion of a lady!

48 comments:

  1. Good post, different from the rest:)

    This is common in Tamil culture also as I have noticed. They have 'function' when the girl comes of age and then they are relegated to the outside rooms for the three days. Made to sleep on a mat on the floor and have food from separate vessels (which reminds me always of a dog's paatram).

    Why all the distinction? It's just another natural process like peeing or sweating or whatever.

    I never understood the taboo or the idea behind it. Nor do I pretend to.

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    1. Thanks Peevee...Its just another biological process.But the religious law makers (or else men) never try to understand the fact!

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  2. Hey--cool post!!! I myself have suffered this for many years which led me to explore other traditions and how women are treated in them. I found menstruation is called the curse among Latin Americans! In United States, although there is no attempt to "outcaste" a woman during those days, the way they bleach the pads as well as promote use of tampons is a way to get women to pretend that they dont get periods and all is well as usual. But what was most empowering was amongst Native American traditions--where women are considered to be in "higher power"--that the act of cleansing makes them a very rich source of spiritual energy. So in these traditions, menstruating women sit in separate teepees and medicine men use their energy from adjoining teepees to enter into the visioning process.!!!

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    1. What you said is right; everywhere women suffer suppression in the name of menstruation in one way or other. Thanks for the feedback Bhavana.

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  3. hmm nice one :) all d best :)dear!

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  4. We had over come the whole thing for some time after my parent's generation took over from my grand parents. People learned to accept the change and every1 in the family realized it was just a stigma until one fine day, the elders in the family decided to conduct some pooja and prashnam. Since then it's back to the old state of affairs and the youngsters in the family are extremely annoyed. But none except me raises their voice against it for the fear of bad omen and the aftermath they predicted in the pooja. I don't know how on earth I'd put some sense into their brains.

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    1. True Leo...They never care what we say and so everything remains taboo even in this 21st century

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  5. Yes....i have seen many of my frds suffering...here not even men but elders and everybdy shud understand that it god given gift which purifies our blood and cannot be curse

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    1. Thanks Farah...As you said,it is not men always who are strict on this at times.Elder women are also the culprits...

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  6. very topical and important issue well discussed!

    best wishes for the contest

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  7. A very sensitive and different topic!!
    I myself haven't witnessed such behavior but its very well read..
    I applaud you for having the strength to raise a voice against it.

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    1. You are lucky that you haven't experienced such injustice in your life...When I saw the topic for the competition,this is the right time to speak out!

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  8. Thank god my family has been open-minded and relaxed their rules except that we are not supposed to go to temple or if we go if outside not touch the idol for 3 days which i can live with... But i heard from many such friends rite here in Mumbai these practices happening and was shocked .. I had heard tales but I thought it was only in villages! I discussed this with my mom too.. She said they blindly follow and have justified themselves in their head... when u have daughter don't let her be treated this way and things will change slowly... starting from urslf.. That was the day and today is day I never considered me having menstrual cycle as curse! Just hope every1 gets that point too... understand the scientific reason and leave away with the shit thoughts!

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    1. Yes meenz...Some traditional customs have to be retained. But not stupid things like this!

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  9. All the best roopz...didnt know such rituals still persist ,thanks for sharing !

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    1. There do exist such customs in India! Anyway thanks a lot for commenting

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  10. Lovely post! Good luck for winning the competition!

    I have a surprise for you on my blog, please go check it! :) A small gift to my favourite village girl..! :)

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    1. Thanks for the award and your sweet comment in my blog :)

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  11. i have had many differences with my MIL but will always love her for saying 'so what if you may get ur period on your wedding day? Its only natural-it will not affect the puja.'

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  12. one of the toughest topic to be discussed has been so beautifully penned...
    good luck for the contest... :)

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  13. really it's a stupid "cutome" ... i hate this... bt as lyk u told many ppl come out frm this...even then lot has to come...hope it will happen soon...anywys u wrote it well... n all the very best chechi :)...

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    1. Yeah...Hope for the best...Thanks for your remark Sruthi :)

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  14. cool post! :) keep writing & smiling always :)

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  15. so true..such practices still take place.
    All the best for the contest!

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  16. Well said Roopz. There are lot of such beliefs, which are turning out to be meaningless nowadays. Hope such things would be gone from our society soon enough.

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  17. Having undergone all that you've written above, while growing up in a similar environment, I can empathize with the 'Untouchable'. Most have come out of it - either voluntarily (as not many old tharavads with Pooja & all remains) or forced (in the absence of joint family, and with women also working, the entire practice has become unmanageable)

    Good write up... But I should add that at least a few times, I was thankful for the seclusion and the break from routine chores. And I know for sure that the generation before mine welcomed it - for those were the only days they could have proper rest or even sleep...

    Stopping at it for now!!! :-)

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    1. OOOPPS........I forgot! All the best for the Contest!

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    2. There are still Brahmin houses where ladies are treated as untouchables. Thanks for your wishes...!

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  18. Real change is slow, and it never happens all at once. But if we keep showing up, if we keep fighting the good fight.

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    1. True...No change happens without hard work and struggle

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  19. GOD didn't frame any rules, its we foolish humans who made rules and follow them blindly.. Nice write up on a sad tradition of society....

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    1. We make laws and we give it the caption "made by God"... Thanks for your remark...

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  20. Nicely written.Different from the rest.
    Well done yaar..cheers for the article :).
    Also Check out mine.Give your comment on it.
    Are Hijra's(TransGender) not a Human being.?

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    1. Thanks for your comment...I checked yours! Its simply superb

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  21. good one .. i too agree with your views .. thinking positively or may be because of the natural ego(:P) njaan vishwasikkunnu, this untouchability issue was introduced as a relaxation for women from the burden of immense daily house hold work in the (joint) family .. It obviously have lots of disadvantages as you mentioned and i think in the modern age, where men and women are/should be equally treated such customs should not be encouraged ..

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    1. Earlier it was introduced in favor of female community. But now when we believe man n woman are equal, this custom can be called stupidity

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  22. So there is an "other side" of every issue...A discussion will be complete only when we look in to both the sides .Here the Idea was good but implementation was wrong ..So the positive facet of the idea should be appreciated.

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  23. Good post..ofcourse..every human being need rest, let's think in that way, avail three days holiday from worldly affairs?..say something on this....

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  24. Thanks for your comments. But my point is in today's world, women can take rest any time if they wish which also include these three days. So the concept has become pointless

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