Being An Indian Female

I wonder how I can still weep saying I suffer from writer’s block when girls are assaulted all over the country. The degree of proximity plays an important role in everyone’s life. It is the same reason that made me feel so weird after watching a news report in my local TV channel. A 17 year old girl raped by her father is pregnant. Since it is a local channel, they explained every minute detail including the video of the arrest of the accused. People give no value for relationships these days. If not, how can he do that to his own daughter?  Usually, a girl’s first hero will be her dad. What will be that girl’s mindset while delivering her own dad’s baby?

Kerala has witnessed some unusual and brutal attacks against female community for past few years. A girl was raped and killed by her friend’s father in Nilambur. She was just 9 year old! Again, a lady in her fifties was assaulted by her sons’ friends. Soon, you may hear news of sons raping their mothers. In addition to these cruelties, there are cases of killing babies just because of being females. The death of Baby Afreen is the latest ‘known’ incident. Unknown murders are countless.

I should admit that I’d never received any torture physically or verbally from my relatives or friends. I know I am a lucky female in this country to say so. However, in the society I had to suffer discrimination like every Indian lady. Once I proudly called myself a member of a state that has 100% literacy. Education is supposed to make a man cultured. Here, it is just the opposite. Women in Kerala cannot walk freely after dusk. Though the situation is changing slowly, God’s own country still remains a male dominant area at night. I would blame ladies for this situation (includes me too). We never bother to break the rules and act as if men are the ‘super powers’ in the world.

Indians address their own country as Bharath Matha and they worship Kali, the goddess of power. Our countrymen know how to respect and treat well. This is a nation known for patience and brotherhood. Similarly the law offers ‘equal’ rights to all citizens. Yet girls are considered as curse by many families. Female community is stamped as weaker section even today. Many times I feel it is the complex of men which make them control females. In Malayalam, there is a phrase aanaku aanayude shakthi ariyilla (An elephant doesn’t know its power). Same way, a female doesn’t know her strength. Or else, men never allow her to realize her potency by caging her with many dos and don’ts! Only the moment we recognize our power, we can move fearlessly and make our society spell ‘females’ without hesitation.

PS: I think I have deviated a long way from the point I started. The mix and match is not done proportionally. One thing you can read, i.e. the suffering of woman in India. After all, conclusion is tough for me when it comes to women issues.

Stranger Friends

If unseen is strange

We are strangers!

If care is friendship

We are friends!

Laugh and fight

Play and pause

Enjoying life

Every moment!

If ever we meet

What’d we talk!

If ever you see me

What’d you gift!

We wish to speak

We hope to meet

Earth is round

Man is a wanderer! 

(Dedicated to all my virtual friends whom I had never seen)

Confessions of a Facebook Addict

Breaking the silent moments of power cut yesterday, I heard a conversation between two guys in the street: “What the hell! I’d send a friendship request and she rejected it”…! These kinds of talks are nothing new today. When you see a person posing before the camera, automatically you’ll think ‘it is going to be his/her new DP (Display Picture)’!

Facebook and other social networking sites have made a huge impact on the thoughts and activities of the present generation. Kids studying in third or fourth standard will have an FB account. Any child can create a profile by just giving a fake date of birth. When a group of youth gathers, their main topic of conversation will be about Facebook.

I must say I am a person who is known among my friends as an FB addict. I was an introvert in my school days. In my primary school days, pupils there rarely know me. Sometimes I felt ashamed of being a silent girl. The sense of loneliness depressed me in my teenage days. Slowly, Orkut gave me a platform to chat with my friends. But in that, we could only reply to the scraps send to us.

After my studies, a few of my friends introduced me to a new social networking site named FACEBOOK! Exploring new sites is my hobby. In the beginning I didn’t like the whole concept of publicizing the status messages. However, my friends told I’ll like it very soon. Their prediction is right and now I am a well known ‘Facebooker’ among my friends. Within two years, I’d experiment every app in Facebook except business deals and games (I hate to go through these two sections).

Now I realize I transformed myself to a personality that I always dreamed of. I wished to be an individual who love to express my ideas and gather friends. Check out a few lessons I have learned from my Facebook life:

• Facebook encourages expression. Still, posting too much emotional stuff will make your friends bored. If you really want to express your emotions, start a blog.
• Add strangers as friends only if you feel they are trustworthy. This point is very important in case of ladies. Cyber offense is the most dangerous and deadly crime in the world that is increasing day by day. Again, subscribe only to verified accounts of celebrities.
• Even though majority of the Facebook users are females, many don’t know how to handle it. Make sure that your account is well protected. I’d suggest females to lock their albums and contact details in Facebook.
• Join groups and pages that you feel you should be a part of! I regret for joining many pages in FB. So I used to leave groups if I don’t find it good.
• Finally, spend some time to read good articles and features. It is through FB I come to know the latest updates of the world.

FB can be used for personal or business purpose. Facebook is a wonder that will provide you surprises whenever you log in. On the other hand, do realize that it is a virtual world and nothing is real in it. The virtual personality should not interfere the original YOU!

Naughty Surprise

A village girl and a female from metro city met under a hill. They spoke different language and had diverse culture. Yet, a single word bonded them… FRIENDSHIP! I am not going to narrate a fable. What I told you is how I found a friend named Meenakshi Nautiyal.

Most of my blog readers will be familiar with that name. Meenakshi is mostly the one who comments at my blogpost first. Whenever I post something in this blog, she will be the first person to know. That may be the reason why Deepak, one of my blogger friends believed that Meenakshi is my fake profile!

We both studied together for post graduation. I and Meenakshi don’t have too many similarities. Initially, I had a doubt whether I can get along with a girl from Mumbai. But I was really surprised to know that she doesn’t know how to apply makeup. My perception about a city girl changed completely after seeing her.

Three Qualities of Meenakshi:

1. Caring & Helping
2. Lively & Jovial
3. Open & Simple

She is short and slim. If you are a person who believes eating is the sole activity that frames a person’s physical structure, you must meet her. Her lunch equals my full day diet. And the funniest thing is that she remains slim and I remain plump.

One Confession:

She has many teddies with her. Among that there is a yellow teddy which is huge and cute. Every time I see that, I think of stealing it. Somehow it never happened…!

The most essential quality needed for a friend is to keep in touch with his/her buddies. In case of Meenakshi, whenever I message her I’ll get the reply instantly. When I am depressed, I used to SMS her: “I wish to hear your scolding”!

Three Best Moments With Meenakshi:

1. Food sessions:
   I am sure that the staff of Dominos in Coimbatore will be surprised to see a tiny girl Meenakshi eating a medium pizza and a huge female like me having a small one. Always when we order any food, she takes half from my plate after completing her. Thanks to her for helping me to get rid of fine at mess for wasting food.
2. Shooting:
   Reporting was the only enjoyment during college hours. We go out, roam and have lots of fun while students from other departments stay in their classes listening to boring lectures. We wandered through Palakkad and Coimbatore searching for news. Visiting Meher village was a wonderful experience. First TV news reporting from Palakkad was also special.
3. Combine studies:
   She is a good reader and writer. I would say I passed all semester exams of MA Communication because of this girl. She explains each topic very well. Globalization, Media studies, Communication Theory… Oh God! I can’t think of those topics now.

Hard times will let you know who your real friends are! There is another category of friends who act as your best buddies and make you fools. They enjoy seeing you getting trapped. True friends will remain with you during the ups and downs of your life. I should say I am lucky to have such a pal in my life.

Happy Vishu

Facebook or other social networking sites can always give a virtual presence of your dear ones. However, there is a big difference between virtual and real world. Actual company of people is more precious than online presence. Celebrations and festivals are meant for such get together.

Malayalees celebrate Vishu today. Vishu marks the beginning of an agricultural season. Mainly there are two festivals in Kerala namely Vishu and Onam. Both these are related to agricultural seasons of this area. Vishu celebrations start by Vishukani followed by Vishu kaineetam. Crackers and sadya add flavors to this festival.

Like every Vishu eve, I couldn’t sleep yesterday. Even though I see the same kani on Vishu each year, it is exciting all the time. With closed eyes, I have to walk all the way to Pooja room and open my eyelids in front of a decorated Lord Krishna statue. Also there will be a few other materials including gold, money and a few agricultural products. The main highlight of kani is kanikonna, a flower that blooms only in hot summer.

Vishu is a time for family members to enjoy themselves together. For kids, it is the best day of their summer vacation. Compared to last years, this time the number of crackers is small. The prize hike is the main reason. This high cost has adversely affected the Vishu celebrations. Medical experts say the fireworks can remove the pollutants and infection from the environment. Apart from providing entertainment, it is also healthy.

Once every celebration, prayer and life was dedicated to crop cultivation. So above everything, Vishu reminds us that we had an agricultural tradition.

Wishing all my readers and friends a Happy Vishu!

End of a Fairytale

Tears dried up
Motionless I stay!
Broken words
Lifeless thoughts!

Why did I imagine
What did I get!
All questions to me
Clueless I am!

Tunes did not match
Rhythm is not right!
Once a perfect song
Now a nuisance!

Unexpected turns
Unique twists!
A colorful fairytale
Ends with no smile!

Untouchable

There is a get together going on in her house. She is not allowed to get out of her room as she is an ‘untouchable’. On those three days every month, she lives like a prisoner. She cannot touch clothes, utensils or food in her house. Even to get a few drops of drinking water, she has to beg and wait for the mercy of others.

For outsiders, she belongs to a well-fed family with a few acres of agricultural land. Her family is highly educated and has a good status in the society. However, they still hold the orthodox Brahmin culture. She tried many times to question about the untouchable days. The only answer she gets is ‘some customs has to be followed’…

She has to hide herself from the sight of those who are going to temple. Others think it is bad to see her before their temple darshan and so they will start cursing her when they spot her. Again some rooms like kitchen and pooja room are forbidden places for her during those days.

Only on the fourth day, she becomes ‘pure’ after taking a dip in the pond. Until then, she has to remain inside her room. She says the mental torture is worse than the physical suffering. Outside her room, the world celebrates 21^st century life…!

It is not the story of a single female. There are many ladies who are secluded like this inside the houses of namboodiris. The female communities of Kerala Brahmins are not allowed to live freely during their days of menstruation. Though most of the families have come out of this idiotic custom, a few still practice this!

Earlier, the seclusion was a part of giving rest from household duties to females. In those three days, she needs rest mentally and physically. But now the scene has changed, every girl has her own world. Everyone is highly educated and they can make their own time to work and relax.

Being a namboodiri girl, I always feel it is time for a second revolution in the community. Even if the condition of Kerala Brahmin ladies has changed a lot (Thanks to VT Bhattathiripad and others for the first revolution), there is still a little more to change.

A man finds it hard to manage a fever or cold that comes once in a while. These people can’t even imagine how much a lady bears each month. Still she manage to smile and love men without any hesitation.

Again, I don’t think it is God who had laid all these rules that let females suffer! If Almighty is so cruel, then I would say I don’t want to worship a stone like that!!!

This post has been written for the Time to change Contest hosted by IndiBlogger . Thanks to Stayfree,the best companion of a lady!