Friday, September 30, 2011

Pale Body And Wandering Mind

I dumped my emotions,
Deep inside.
I smiled at everyone,
From my heart...

My dreams wandered
Without limits.
My thoughts hovered
Without any concern...

My body begged:
Stop thinking too much.
My heart shouted:
Thoughts keep me going.

Veins dried up,
Making me pale...
My eyes say don't sleep
My stomach says don't eat.

Half-alive I lay,
Without hunger and sleep.
Mind still roams,
In a world I always dreamed

Monday, September 26, 2011

Grandma's Day

September 21…World call it Alzheimer’s Day! But, I call it my grand ma’s day. I don’t know the scientific reasons for that disease. In fact I love not to do research on that. Only thing I knew is, this disease attacks mainly those who never express their emotions. My grand ma always dumped her wishes and desires deep inside her heart. No one knew she was wearing a mask of happy homemaker.

God won’t have created such a fine female creature before or after. Not many will be blessed with both beauty and character. She was so fair and that made her parents to name her as Suvarnna (golden girl)…I’d never found a person who spoke badly about her. As the wife of a social worker, she supported her husband very well. She was a wonderful badminton player in her school. Her humor sense was amazing. Whenever we visit her, she used to make us yummy dishes. Her only aim in life was to serve her family and dear ones.

I was not aware that Alzheimers is such an intense illness until I saw the strange look of my grand ma. From a lady with utmost love and care, this sickness transformed her to a female blabbering ‘non-sense’. The streams of memories dried up to an extreme extend that she found her husband as a stranger and so it was hard for her to sleep with a stranger at night. However, she had a fine memory of her childhood, schooling, her house and surroundings. She could even remember her first daughter-in-law, i.e. my aunty. But, for her my youngest aunty was a servant. At times, she could memorize her grand children.

My family counted many reasons for her illness. Yet, they couldn’t find the exact reason for that. My grand pa died heavy hearted seeing my granny looking at him as a stranger. For her, that funeral was a meeting. On that day, she was complaining that she is hungry and needs something to eat.

After one year, that is three years back, she too surrendered to death. Or else, Alzheimers took her life. I couldn’t attend her funeral. It was my first day in my college. I cried a lot that day… My friends found it hard to console me. Only that day, I realized how much we value relationships. Once a single element is lost, it can’t be replaced in that chain. No one can replace my sweet muthashi… We still sob in her memories… Though she left with blank memories, she gave us lots of memoirs to cherish!

Saturday, September 24, 2011

I'm Back

Hopes, dreams, wishes…We expect best in these three, but most of the times it ends up on a sad note. Whatever happens, life will go on with twists and turns. I too had such a stage when my thoughts shattered, ideas vanished and expressions appeared lifeless… Everyday I think, I should start writing, but I couldn’t.

I feel like I’ve not written for years…Words are still choking, the flow is still lacking in my writing. I couldn’t write for many days. I was about to delete the blog. Then I thought about my readers and friends who always supported and encouraged me even when I’m down. I got a mail from my best friend:

“Keep writing...

That is your way, your life...

Keep writing...

Once the world will bend in front of u...”

The last line may not happen, but those words of my friend were truly inspirational. Now I hope I can write something. I need time to sharpen my notes. But, now I could assure you that whatever happens, the Voice of a Village Girl will never be quiet here after. Wow! Thank God, I could scribble something from my heart even after many days of silence….